How Little Women Can Be Fine On Their Own

I have never seen the movie Little Women. Any of them. I have never read the book. I knew nothing about it, but I thought it was an old Jane Austen type of thing and those novels and movies kind of bore me. So I never bothered to get into it. Until my mother said to me the other day “will you go see the new Little Women with me?” I stared at her, not really wanting to go. I really loved some of the actors in the movie, so what was the harm? I gave in and my mom and I planned a day.

When the day came around, my mom chose to go to the 1:30 pm showing at the movie theater. I decided to take a quick nap at 12:15 pm because I was super tired. I got woken up at 1 pm by my mom peering at me: “you ready to go?” No, I wasn’t. I was still tired and I ALMOST said to her that I was going to stay home. But I got up anyway and we were off to see the movie. 

We arrived at the theater, bought our tickets, and took a seat. I had not seen one trailer for this movie and I didn’t let my mom tell me anything except when she said “I want you to see this movie because I think you can relate to Jo. You’re both writers who don’t want kids or marriage!” 

I had no idea who “Jo” was. 

Then the movie began. It was a RIDE. I guess the director of this version made it a bit different than the other ones, so I don’t want to give anything away that would be a spoiler, but I cried. A lot.

I found out who Jo was (she was the main character). I cried when certain things happened but I cried the most at a part where Jo was talking to her mother. Jo shouts:

“Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it! But I’m so lonely.”

I swear I was going sob. My mom handed me a tissue. I didn’t want her to know that I was crying hard, so I pretended the tissue wasn’t on my lap. But tears kept running down my face and I used all my face muscles to not open my mouth and make a noise. I then grabbed that tissue.

Why was I crying so hard?

Because I could RELATE. That quote struck my heart with un-sanded arrow.

Now, I’d like a backtrack real fast. I made a Facebook status about a month ago where I told of the instance of where a girl asked me “if you don’t want to have kids or get married, what do you want to do instead?” I got many comments on the status that said “you’ll get married, don’t worry! You’ll have kids, just wait!”

I am in no way trying to be rude to any of the amazing commenters/friends I had on that status, but I got angry. I teared up. I don’t think they understood that I DON’T want that.

Why am I, as a woman, always being forced to think about the age I’ll have children or what man I’ll marry that will provide for me?

Why can’t I do it alone?

Why am I connecting to Jo March in the Little Women movie when it’s almost 2020? 

And you know what, just one more “why” for you:

WHY CAN’T I DEFY THESE EXPECTATIONS?

I understand completely that some women want what I don’t, but why I am always being pushed towards a life that’s not fit for me? 

Jo told Meg in the movie not to marry John because Jo didn’t want Meg to leave her. But she didn’t push her. She knew Meg wanted to marry John. Meg then said to Jo “don’t worry, your time will come” and Jo wasn’t a fan of those words. She didn’t get angry, she just pushed them aside.

“We have to find you a boyfriend” is something that is said to me CONSTANTLY. It’s tiring. And also very embarrassing. But I now just push it aside. I need a man to make me happy?

The end of the original quote struck me the most. “I’m so lonely.” Jo goes on this short rant how women are more that just love but then she ends up confessing her loneliness. 

You can not want to marry but still be lonely. 

I am.

My mother asked me “how did you like the movie?” when it finished and we got to the parking lot. 

“I....don’t want to talk about it.” I replied. My mom said “okay” with a strange look on her face. Then, I broke down in sobs, in the middle of the public parking lot. 

I got ushered to our car that was nearby and just sat, talking to my mother about how women tell me all the time that I’ll change my mind about kids and marriage. I get told that I need a boyfriend; how I HAVE to sign up for dating apps. Yes, I get lonely when I’m the third wheel at outings and yes, I would love to have just one person I can talk to instead of separate friends who care about separate things. Maybe I miss holding someone's hand.

But for now, I love my life how it is. I don’t need my own intimate family to make me happy. 

Jo got her happy ending without kids and getting married. 

Why can’t I have mine?

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Decade Roundup

It's almost 2020.

The roarin' 20's. 

My last computer broke before I could transfer any photos to my computer now. That was in 2013, I believe. But then I realized: FACEBOOK HAS SOME OF MY PHOTOS! I didn't create a Facebook until 2010, but holy cow do I have a lot of pictures on Facebook. I scrolled for a good 5 minutes trying to find my first photo from 2010. And here it is (I'm the one on the left):

I had those sunglasses because Nick Jonas wore them. I mean, his were Ray Bans and mine were $10 knockoffs, but it still was meaningful!

But then my Facebook jumps to 2011. So 2010 Megan barely exists...but I was on MySpace before Facebook so I bet there are tons of pictures on there of me.







Here's my first picture on Facebook in 2011. It's with a random band member that I loved but really had no hit songs. I got glasses in 2011 so these are my first ever pair. Also, I think that's my natural hair color, but I honestly don't know...

This picture is me and Nick Jonas in 2011, when he went solo for a bit with a different band. I waited with my friend Casey outside a TV station for him to come out. He was very sweet.

I met Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) and Alex Meraz (a wolf in Twilight), both in 2011. This picture shows what a Twilight fan I was (and how I didn't want to pay $25 for a picture, so we snuck one in). Look at that purple feather in my hair!

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Now, 2012 was full of meeting celebrities and meeting new friends, but I only found 1 photo of my actual self via 2012 Facebook. This is a photo of the actor from the Hunger Games, Josh Hutcherson (he played Peeta) and how we both were drinking the same water. Not the same bottle, just the same brand. I was a little ridiculous. Check out my Robert Pattinson poster behind me.

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Now, 2013 was full of pictures and "firsts" for me, but the biggest thing that year was: I BLEACHED MY HAIR FOR THE FIRST TIME! The first time of many years of bleaching. A boy broke my heart that day, I cried, then decided I needed to change something. AKA my hair. We bleached in order to dye it purple on top and aqua blue on the bottom. It started the nickname that people started calling me for years after that: mermaid. 

Then the middle of 2013, I dyed it all blue!

And then at the end of 2013, I got BANGS

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2014 was wild because I was 21 and I started my punk rock phase. I wore combat boots everywhere and put patches on the back of my old jackets. I started experimenting with art (for example, I tried to tint photographs with cranberry juice. P.s. IT WORKS!) I went to university for the first time as an art major.

Here's a photograph I took a while ago that was part of an "I love myself" art show at my college. I was over the moon that it was hung up. It was a little lonely, going to see your artwork by yourself. But I was still honored. 

Then I dyed my hair black. I personally liked it, my mother did not. I remember buying the dye at the Walgreen's that was a 15 minute walk from my apartment. I started dyeing my hair in the bathroom while my roommates were gone and all I could think was "this better not stain the sink". 

My favorite part of 2014 was when I was in a play at university. I did a very good job (says me) and I had the time of my life. My mom even traveled to see me in it!

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2015 was a year I'll never forget, which a a good thing and a bad thing, really. I was still in my punk phase and listened to a lot of Blink 182 and The Offspring. I dyed my hair a lot (as usual) and had lots of support from friends when I was going through a tough time.




Here's my first dye of the year of 2015. I always did a little braid in my hair, sometimes with a string of yarn.

This is me and Halsey in 2015, when she got her start, on her first tour. I loved her at that time, even though she didn't even have a album out! It was a really great show, too. 

2015 was also a year of finding myself. I went to watch sunrises on grassy hills by myself, I pressed flowers, I jumped fences, I made mini movies. It was a year that is hard to forget.

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2016 was the year I had to get away. I went to visit my grandma a lot. I created a lot of digital art of positive and cute sayings and started a shirt shop. It failed massively (I'm still a little heartbroken...)


This is me emailing a pen-pal outside a coffee shop on a cloudy day in March.

One of my design examples that didn't sell a single shirt. I honestly really like it.

The greatest part of 2016 was when I went to California. West Hollywood. Los Angeles. Ever since I was a young girl, I always wanted to see the Hollywood sign. And I did. 

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2017 was a good year for my blog. I wrote a lot and got a good amount of positive feedback. I had lots of new friends from a new job I started and I went to the almighty Disney World. I bought my first ever good photography camera, too! It was secondhand but I still use it to this day!

Me being a real princess at Disney

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2018. I finished my book. My story was out there. I didn't get to tell my grandma about it before she passed away that year. She would've been really proud of me, I think. 

Here's me giving my first talk about my book!

A lovely picture of me living it up in Miami, Florida in 2018 for my friend's bachelorette trip!

My golden birthday (25 on July 25)

It all leads up to 2019. Which is a post I made on December 12th. 

Going through these pictures was really and "up and down" type of thing for me. Some good memories, some bad. But I hate to say it because it's cliche, but everything I went through made me the person I am today! I hope some of you reminiscence on this past decade and see what you guys are thankful for.

See you in 2020! 

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2019 Rewind

The end is near...

THE END OF THE YEAR!!! 

I usually make a "thank you" post for the year and include pictures and surprisingly, people really like it! So here's my year in a glance!

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Started my MeganCourtney24 Instagram! Photo's of my life that makes me feel good about myself!

I started my blog reviews at coffee shops! So much coffee, so much fun

Visited my friend Megan in Green Bay, Wisconsin in February!

Went to the Chicago Market for Maker's, a craft fair with picture taking spots

My friend Emily, from Florida, came to visit me and we went and had a blast in Chicago

My friend Noe and I went to Summerfest in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It's our summer tradition!

Turned the big 2-6 this year! My friend Ashley and I went to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin!

Went to my favorite wedding ever with my favorite people getting married. My dress was a hit, too.

THE BIG ONE: I went to Ireland!

Here's a picture of my mom and I at our first Jonas Brother concert since 2008!

 

And lastly, me and my brother laughing during taking our 2019 Christmas pictures

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This year has been busy and great and I am so thankful for everything and everyone! Here I come 2020!

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