My Road Trip to Indiana

 

My friend Lisa and I have wanted to take this road trip to the state over from our home state of Illinois for a while now. She wanted to visit the late actor James Dean's hometown. I knew who James was but I'd never really payed attention; all I knew was that he was VERY cute. 

I then watched Rebel Without a Cause a few years ago and I was HOOKED. James Dean was my man. I mean, it was the 1950's, but I really loved that movie. 

So, for Lisa's golden birthday, we traveled to the state of Indiana to have a fun time. 

I have to admit, I didn't plan this trip at all, I just was a passenger in the car. I let Lisa decide what to do and where to go and I still had a blast. 

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Day 1: August 29th

We left home to drive the 3.5 hour trip to Indianapolis to go to P&D Flower Farm. It was a "You-Pick" farm where you pick your own flowers and pay at the end. It was $10 for 14 stems, which was what I bought. 

Unfortunately, the flowers were pretty much bare bones. Nothing was really there. I was shocked. BUT one of the (really great) employees told Lisa that a girl made a Tik Tok about the flower farm which brought so much traffic that they weren't prepared for! So that's why everything was already picked! I got some smaller flowers and I still thought they were pretty. I also wanted to make sure I got some to put on James' grave the next day. 

Lisa had heard of this town called Carmel, Indiana. I guess she knew someone who lives there but she said she saw it was a cute town and we were very hungry for dinner. So we drove a little ways away to get to the cutest little town (it was so cute that Lisa and I kept saying how much we would definitely move there). It was actually really bustling, too. We chose a restaurant called Juniper on Main. We put our name on the list and waited about 20 minutes to get a seat. Not terrible for a Saturday. 

We ended up getting the best waitress we could get. Her name is Sara and she was THE sweetest. I immediately was drawn to her as a person (also, her husband is named Josh, so HI JOSH AND SARA!) I got the most amazing tacos I've ever eaten: Crab Rangoon Tacos. I was all around so happy and calm while sitting there, sipping my water and eating our appetizer of huge cornbread. 

Lisa and I headed to our AirBnB pretty late that night. We got there when it was dark, around 9:30 pm. It was in a place called Upland, Indiana. I swear, it was the cutest BoHo set up I've ever seen. I'm not even being dramatic. We took some pictures of the place and I made myself a drink and we just...relaxed. I wasn't the one driving, but it felt good to relax for me, too! I got pretty sleepy around 10 pm and we were getting up pretty early, so I went into my cute bedroom and tried to sleep the night away (I said "tried" because I barely slept. I have a hard time sleeping in new places sometimes!)

Day 2: August 30

The next morning, we took some more cute pictures with the AirBnB in Upland, then left that cute little place. We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and I forgot how good their hash browns were. I should have bought some to go...

But then we were on our way to Fairmount, Indiana, the hometown of James Dean!

When we go to the Fairmount, it was real quiet. Then we figured out it was Sunday and church hadn't gotten out yet. Lisa and I went to the cemetery first to put our kind-of wilted flowers on James' resting place. There is a tradition to kiss is grave stone and it was all over the internet about doing it. So I bought the reddest and cheapest lipstick I could find and yes, I did kiss James Dean. 

Lisa and I then headed to the James Dean Gallery. Thank God it was open on Sunday because literally everything else in the town was closed! Even the coffee shop. But the gallery had so many cool artifacts and things that James had written and touched. What really made me put things in perspective that James was a real person and not just a legend, was the 1950's candid photos of him. Real film with a real guy on it. It was wild to me for some reason. 

Back in the small gallery gift shop, we met Lenny. Lenny has worked in the gallery for 30 years and we talked to him for a good 30 minutes (at least!). He was the best guy ever and I learned so much more about James. Lenny told us that the gate keeper at the cemetery cleans off this grave site every week because it gets piled with so many things: cowboy boots, blue jeans, beer, cigarettes. He then said "people kiss it too! I guess it's really hard to get off". Oh my GOD. I didn't tell Lenny what I just did, but with the cheap lipstick I bought, I was hoping it would come off easy...but also, it's literally in the town map to go and kiss the headstone. NOT MY FAULT! I LOVE JAMES. 

Lenny then went on to tell us the good spots in the town to visit. I'm trying to not talk about Lenny too much because boy, I could go on forever. But when we were leaving, he said "see the guy mowing across the street? That's James' second cousin!" So freaking cool. I guess some of the family still live in the town, which I think is so awesome as it kind of preserves the history.

We then went to the middle of Fairmount. A town with only 1 stop light. Lisa and I took some really cool pictures. I am obsessed with the picture Lisa took of me standing in front of the same exact bank that James stood in front of. I also leaned against the same brick wall as him, no big deal. Also, the townspeople were incredibly nice. They waved at us, they stopped for us when we were in the middle of the street taking pictures. What a sweet little town. 

Then later, after getting our James Dean fill, we were off to go to Cataract Falls: Indiana's Largest Waterfall. When we got there, we didn't know we had to pay. I guess it IS the largest waterfall, so making money would be a top priority.

IT WAS NOT LARGE AT ALL! 

But it was still pretty neat. Not good paths at all, though. The rock "steps" were loose and it was so uneven that I also fell twice. Mind you, I was in a maxi dress I bought from Target. I didn't know I was going hiking...

When we got down to one of the falls (there are 2 apparently), kids were playing underneath it. Why couldn't I play underneath it, too? That would make for cute pictures! So, in a blue maxi dress and seeing glasses still on my face, I got drenched in a waterfall. It was actually pretty cool. I definitely got more soaked than I thought I would, though!

After leaving the "HUGE" waterfalls, we were on our way home.

 After a pit stop for me to change in a gas station bathroom into drier clothes. But the 4.5 hours home was nice. We listened to music while Lisa dramatically screamed when bugs flew into her windshield.

All in all, I had such a fun time. Wonderful pictures, wonderful memories, wonderful people.   

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I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to Lisa for planning this trip (and driving!) 

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An Interview with GOOF

I met Natalie at a "meet up" many years ago where fans of a certain movie met up and talked about the movie and made friends with each other. 

Simpler times. 

Since then, I have been watching Natalie grow and progress into a really cool person (Facebook and Instagram are great ways to watch from afar...) I really wanted to interview her for my blog because I love doing interviews AND I thought interviewing Natalie would be really cool, since she's a singer and all. 

I have written about Natalie AKA GOOF on my last Top 5 (Click HERE to read it!) and how her latest single is so darn catchy. 

Please enjoy this interview with my friend, GOOF. 

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Hi Natalie! Thank you for taking the time to answer these interview questions for me! I’ve always been a fan of your singing voice and your song covers on YouTube. How did you get into singing? Did you know you were good at it at an early age?

First off thank YOU so much for including me and always being so supportive of my music! I got into singing and music when I was really little, I think because my parents never played, like, kids music for me so I grew up on The Dixie Chicks and The Doobie Brothers haha. Then, since my aunts on my dad's side love music too, since I was a little kid that’s really all we had to relate on so they encouraged me by taking me to musicals and stuff and then playing that music in the house. 

Now, you’re creating your own music (which every song is on my Spotify playlist). How did GOOF come to be?

GOOF has been... a long journey hahaha! I’ve been writing music since middle school. I used to use it as an outlet for my feelings and to process battling mental health issues for the first time and at a young age. I had a very false sense of what the music business actually was and vowed to keep my songwriting as a hobby for myself and eventually found my way to wanting to do theatre and musicals as a career. In college however, theatre school gave me a very different insight in the stage business and I found myself yearning for friends and colleagues who shared my love of indie and alternative music. So I started going to concerts alone and I was at a show every night I was free and eventually made a lot of amazing friends. I happened to build a network of musicians I knew personally, and I started realizing that I had the capabilities to do what they were doing too and began itching to be on stage performing MY own music. All it took was me finally getting the balls to ask some amazing producer friends to help me bring my ideas to life. Also “Goof” is my high school nickname:)

Since everything with COVID and quarantine is happening, what do you want to accomplish with GOOF when things get back to a little more normalcy? 

Oh, I definitely want to figure out how to play my music live. A big setback for me is the fact that I’m not an instrumentalist, BUT I do know a lot of fantastic ones who have offered to play with me when we can have shows! I’m really excited and nervous to figure out what’s gonna be backtracked and what we can teach musicians to play live.

Any upcoming things you want to share?! Do you have any new songs soon? 

Yeah! I’m actually working on a LOT of new music lately in hopes to release an album come winter. There will definitely be at least one follow up single to Bottom Feeder and some collaborations I’m featured on that other artists will be releasing on their platforms. So keep an eye out for lots of new music and hopefully a full length album by the end of the year! 

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Check out GOOF's lyric video for Bottom Feeder in the video above!

YouTube: X

Instagram: X

Spotify: X

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How Being a Fan Has Turned Our World Around

Ashley and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. We were those girls in high school who were huge nerds but didn't care because we were living our BEST LIVES. As we got older, we drifted apart with our jobs and our adult selves. Ashley and I recently started talking again and we love to reminisce about the "good old days". But then over FaceTime, Ashley says to me "there has to be a reason why we were obsessed with so many things. Is there something to that? With our mental health struggles, there HAS to be some kind of research on why we were so hooked on movies and books and characters!"

After a search for ANYTHING to answer this, we only found one article and it was an "opinion piece". But even that one article put in perspective that were weren't completely reaching for nothing. 

Hyper-fixation. That was the word of the article. I talked to Ashley more about this topic because we were both so intrigued and most importantly, we were both so INVOLVED. I love the way this interview turned out because it gives light on our mental health struggles and how we are strong women today. 

If you'd like to read the hyper-fixation article, click HERE

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(Here's me with my Edward Cullen poster in high school)

Megan: "When we met in high school (all those years ago), we were obsessed with Twilight and the Jonas Brothers. It became to the point where we went to a midnight premiere at a book store for Breaking Dawn’s book release and did everything we could for the Jonas Brothers, including writing fun fake stories about them in our notebooks during class. I was not ashamed to bring my Twilight movie tote bag from class to class. We both were in deep and did not care who knew it. In your eyes, what do you think had the biggest impact on you, with being a fan of these people/books/movies? I think mine was meeting the Jonas Brothers for the first time in 2007."

Ashley: "I think the biggest impact honestly was meeting others who felt the same way; it made me feel like maybe I wasn't so crazy or even so alone. It's funny now having been a teacher because I see these students all the time, having these large, grandiose obsessions and I really see myself in them, even though the obsessions have changed now. (The big one is BTS and KPOP in general, I guess-- anything that can consistently churn out new content to latch onto.) As a teenager you want to be accepted by others but at the same time you like what you like, and having people who felt the same way definitely helped me feel like I found my niche, even if I looked absolutely ridiculous wearing my Team Edward shirt. Definitely not a purchase I regret.

 I remember staying up late at sleepovers discussing Twilight and being excited to go see the Hannah Montana movie during spring break because JB was in it. I even met one of my future best friends and bridesmaids in line to meet the Jonas Brothers in 2007; she's someone who means so much to me now that she was freaking in my wedding and it started all because she was in front of me in line to meet some celebrities at a Verizon store in Barrington, Illinois. I think I became much more comfortable with who I was and what I liked because of having a tribe of people who felt the same way, and I still feel comfortable in discussing what I like with all of you because we shared this type of sisterhood over a decade ago. I am who I am because of you and that's a pretty cool thing to think about."

(This is Ashley in a video I shot for class in 2009!)

Megan: "We talked recently on FaceTime (for the first time in years!) and reminisced about how much we loved our “fandoms”. But then you brought up a good question: “WHY were we so fixated?” (And why am I STILL so fixated on other fandoms now?). After we hung up, you sent me an article about how “hyper-fixation is a coping skill to mental illness.” I was diagnosed with bipolar at 14 years old, right in the middle of my obsessive stage. You were in your 20’s when you were diagnosed, but most likely suffered symptoms of mental illness in high school too. What are your thoughts on how us being fans was actually a form of a coping skill?"

Ashley: "I am one of the most anxious people I know, but back then I think I just thought what I was experiencing was normal so I tried to find ways to cope with those feelings by taking myself out of those emotions by throwing myself into these fandoms. I think in a way I felt like if I could learn everything I could about them, I could really attach myself to the characters and get out of my "real life." I mean, even in class I'd analyze Twilight using the English skills I learned in English and creative writing-- maybe I was always meant to be an English teacher because, wow, that statement sounds dumb -- to make school more enjoyable and manageable.

 It's been years since I had a real obsession but about a year and a half ago I really got into Naruto, an anime which is also something I thought I'd never like, but having that has put me in an almost near-constant state of bliss having something inconsequential to focus on but also something that has brought me so much happiness that it feels important. It's like I want to give something like that a huge importance in my life because the "real" things like grading papers, angry phone calls from students' parents, etc. were too much to handle sometimes and in a way they felt like the unimportant things in my life; if I was to survive, I needed something that made me feel happy and that life was worth living. It was like a happiness switch had been turned on that I hadn't felt since my Twilight days and now that I'm an adult and understand my brain a lot better, I could take a step back and go "Oh. Maybe this is a coping skill to avoid this stuff."

                                                (I thought I was SOOOO funny back then...)

Megan: "For me, hyper-fixation and mental illness never crossed paths until you brought it up. I was an angry high school-er, but I turned to absolute mush when I would hear a Jonas Brother’s song. It definitely was something where I blocked out everyone telling me what to do and telling me I was different from other kids just by putting my headphones in my generation 1 chunky iPod. I was the same way with Twilight. The books were an escape from my “terrible life” (which was what I thought back then...). Did you ever have a sense of escapism in your life with your hyper-fixation?"

Ashley: "I think I kind of answered this already, but ABSOLUTELY. Bolded. Underlined. Italicized. I absolutely think this is escapism. I think it's why I loved Harry Potter so much-- it was this whole world I could get lost in, with the added bonus of always "welcoming me home" for a new adventure in a familiar place in a time when I moved around a lot as a kid and my homes and schools always felt different. It was a place that was described so vividly that it felt real and I needed something real and permanent in that time of my life; I could grow up along with the characters and always feel like I was in that safe place as my actual world constantly changed. 

When it came to Twilight, I think I liked the idea that it was new and exciting and we all wanted some kind of drama and love in our lives because we were fourteen and had nothing better going on. The Jonas Brothers were also some weird, awkward guys who made us feel seen and appealed to our teenage hormones. I wanted something I could plop myself down in. School work is never exciting, but using my time to instead learn everything I can about something that does appeal to me is exciting. I was able to heal some of that anxiety about the state of my life (even if everything was going well; but of course, that's mental illness). I could avoid those emotions and melt into this alternative part of myself that I could choose to share with other fans who understood, like you, and even now when I think back to freshman year I immediately associate it with Twilight, Jonas Brothers, lemonheads I'd get before a class that I'd only read/write about Twilight in, and a dark green notebook that I'd use to write about it. I think of this before I ever think about anything I learned or any of my actual classes. Because that's what really mattered to me at the time and what I'd escape to.

I think I'm still drawn to things that have worlds I can really immerse myself in because as a kid that was my first big coping strategy. Even now with things like Naruto, I can spend so much of my days immersing myself in the lore of a deep world like I used to with Harry because there's so much to focus on that I never get bored and it never ends; the more time I spend with it the more I learn and get more and more into peeling back the layers of the world to understand it all; it's like a puzzle, except that when I'm done with it, what meaning is it really going to give my life? It's not like I'll have accomplished anything of merit. But it still makes me happy and gives me something to focus on, especially during COVID when it felt like the world was falling apart. My husband was the one who got me into Naruto and he's liked it since he was a kid, and even he is like "Whoa, take it easy" sometimes. But I'm literally the last person who's ashamed. I mean Coach even came out with a Naruto line thanks to Michael B. Jordan. If a fucking luxury brand can get on board, why should I be ashamed? I'd share it with the world if I could. Even now I feel like I could go on forever! But it helps me ease some of those negative emotions that crop up sometimes, and if it makes me feel good then so be it."

Megan: "Now, before we wrap up, let’s talk about the newest Twilight book (like we would if we were in high school again). Are you excited and what memories does it bring back for you?!"

Ashley: "Let's pretend we're in high school again talking about it like you said. Picture this: it's late 2007, in gym class, and I still have braces that I just changed my rubber bands to neon pink on. Obviously we're not running tallies because fuck that, and I'm avoiding the internal humiliation of being so bad at gym that we're going to ~escape~ those emotions and discuss how absolutely stupid Bella is and how Edward is amazing in every single way while walking the field house track. Maybe we'll even run the last curve just to look like we're doing something, I don't know, it all depends on how we feel.

I'm excited to see Edward's side of the story because I spent so much time trying to figure out what he saw in Bella, especially after the god awful amazing movies came out and I didn't understand who the hell Kristen Stewart was trying to portray. The biggest memories that come back are the emotions I felt. I don't try so much to remember my specific thoughts, because they'd be so different now having an English degree and having been around teenagers everyday for the last five years, but I definitely remember how I felt about them. I wanted to know all the backstories of the Cullen's, I wanted to live in Forks because the setting had such an ethereal, fantasy feel that I needed to live there. I just remember being so drawn to Edward's old seventeen year old soul (AND AFTER HAVING TAUGHT SEVENTEEN YEAR OLDS THEY ARE NOT OLD AND THEY ARE NOT LIKE THAT.)

 But at fourteen I wanted that drama and toxicity (or what I see as toxicity now) and craved that type of love. Seventeen seemed old enough to have that type of freedom. It was this world that completely blew me away, and being in such a big school I craved something small and unassuming that wouldn't make me feel so anxious. I remember trying to theorize so much about that family and write down so much stuff in that dark green notebook, and every time a new book came out I remember being hungry for every piece of information I could gather on the Cullens' characterization. I remember using it to escape my anxiety of an algebra test. I remember their story inspiring my own creativity. But most of all I remember being happy.

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I want to thank Ashley for taking the time to talk with me about this. I also uncovered a video of us for my sophomore project in 2009. Watch it if you want to see the completely COOL PEOPLE WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL! 

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Top 5: August 2020

The world we live in right now is slightly crazy. This pandemic seemingly has no end (it does hopefully, we just don't know when...) While everything is going on, I'm trying to keep a normalcy as much as I can. I still go to work, I have coffee dates (whether be in person or on Zoom), I go to my therapist. Some things are staying the same a bit. 

That's why I'm doing a Top 5 this month because even though things are nuts, I still am discovering new things! So let's dive right in!!

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1) Zero Sugar Beef Jerky. As a diabetic, beef jerky is okay for me. Which now means I'm obsessed with it. The zero sugar kind is off-putting because they only put a couple of grams of sugar in the regular kind. BUT zero sugar beef jerky is my favorite because it has a chewier texture and I enjoy it. That's just me, though. 

2) Atkins Protein Shakes. While we're on the topic of food, I JUST discovered this "hunger satisfying" milk chocolate protein shake. My dietitian wants me to drink more of these at breakfast but it's EXPENSIVE. But when I do have them, it's like drinking pure chocolate milk. I can't have cows milk (my stomach forbids it) but this never upsets my stomach and tastes amazing. Now, it never really satisfies my hunger like it suggests, but it's still a great source of nutrients!

3) Bottom Feeder by GOOF. So, I know the girl who sings this song (hi, Natalie!) and I have been in love with her singing voice for years. She first came out with the song Rewind Halloween under the name GOOF and I know all the words to that song. Now she's released another song and the chorus is so catchy that I can't get it out of my head! It's on Spotify now, just search GOOF!

Here's the link:  X

4) Midnight Sun. Okay okay I haven't actually read it yet...or even gotten it in the mail...but the Twilight lover in me is PUMPED. I'm 27 years old and still obsessed with Twilight. I don't even CARE. I'm going to Forks, Washington next year for a vacation and holy cow, I'm already shaking. They didn't even film the movies there, but just knowing it's the "twilight town" makes me emotional. I'll do a Midnight Sun review on my book blog when I get it and finish it!

5) Working at a thrift store. I somehow got something ELSE added to my resume: volunteering at the community thrift store. Don't ask how it happened because it was all so fast. But to be honest, I actually love it. It's a messy job (please don't bring in your stained clothes OR used underwear) and it gets overwhelming, even as a volunteer. But I can totally see myself in this position, which is cool!

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That's my Top 5 for the beginning of this month! I hope you guys enjoyed this! I know my mom and my friend Megan love these, so this is dedicated to you both! 

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