Learning About Loneliness

 I was doing my daily scrolling on Facebook on January 28th 2021 when I, for some reason, stopped at Mental Health America's most recent Facebook post:

I don't really talk about it much, or ever I think....but I definitely feel lonely a lot. I don't want to get into my whole personal backstory of loneliness, but during this pandemic, I have definitely suffered. So when I saw this post, I immediately clicked to register and found out it was FREE (which many webinars aren't these days because they're trying to make money up from Covid loss. I totally get it.)

I got a Starbucks then came back home to enjoy this 2.5 hour conversation with different panelists. I got my notebook out and ended up writing 3 PAGES OF NOTES. Geez, Megan. There were different panelists which meant different facts, so cut me some slack. I knew I wanted to write a blog post for people who would like a summary of what I learned, so here's what I learned about isolation and loneliness.

**PSA: A LOT OF THIS WEBINAR WAS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH IN GENERAL, SO THAT IS TALKED ABOUT, TOO**

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Just like other mental health issues, loneliness doesn't discriminate. 

Gen-Z (6 years old to 24 years old) are deemed the loneliest age group. When questioned with "why", all the panelists either had no answer but one of them said there is no definitive date on why younger generations are 65% more lonely than baby boomers, which are 45%.

The first panelist, Patrick Corrigan, PhD, jumped right into it after he was asked a question and said something I really enjoyed:

"The real question is,  why doesn't our world support mental health challenges?" 

He then used the word "challenges" instead of "issues" throughout the time, which I found interesting. 
Patrick then said "people with mental health challenges aren't only depressed, people are telling them they need to be ashamed, too" as he talked about how mental health issues aren't seen clearly enough.

Clarence Jordan, MBA, talked about peer support to combat loneliness. He said that people NEED to talk about the positives in their lives and NEED to talk about their strengths. People are encouraged to take part in peer support. 

Which then, I was like "I  have rarely heard about peer support" and then the whole dang webinar was about peer support after that (I'll get more into it later).

It was brought up how more mental services are in need, which I agreed with. I looked for so many therapists in my area and NONE are taking new clients. It's easy to give up when you don't feel like even a therapist wants to help you (but that's my wild mind...). Having other people say that we are in need since the pandemic started really put into place that it wasn't ME they didn't want. 

A wonderful panelist named Kirsten Kaiser gave some tips that have helped her through her loneliness:

*Write letters/cards
*Phone calls

*Social contact in general (as Kirsten puts it: "it's just plain good for you".)
*Make little goals for yourself

*Let people know what's wrong or what's going on with you

Then the peer support group discussion started and I had to look up the definition because no one explained it and I was lost:

"Peer support occurs when people provide knowledge, experience, emotional, social or practical help to each other."

I still don't know if it's trained people or friends, or both. 

 

Patrick Hendry, VP of Peer Advocacy, questioned his support groups as "are we improving people's quality of life?" With support groups, it's all about human connection and hoping they become a part of the community.

It made me want to start a support group....kind of....

The last speaker, Louise Hawkley, NORC, stated that loneliness can become deadly. We, as human beings, need social interactions. Loneliness can bring negative thoughts and you can feel like no one is including you. You have to realize that a friendship is always a two way street, and you do have to put in your share. 

Louise then begins to explain that collective connectiveness means "a sense of belonging" and that loneliness is a stigma that we're "failing as a person."

I personally never thought of loneliness as a stigma until I realized today that I have never really talked about being lonely to anyone. Maybe I was afraid to saying it? I'm not quite sure.

It was brought up at the end that to combat loneliness, there is no solution that will help everybody. 

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I did take away a lot from this event but I was disappointed there weren't more examples on how to help people who are lonely. 

SO I'M GOING TO ADD SOME OF MY OWN!

Tips to be a little less lonely during a pandemic:

*Zoom coffee dates 

*Zoom wine dates
*Zoom clubs (writing, books, anything)
*Phone calls (which I need to answer my phone more...sorry Lisa and Lindsey...)
*Go into Starbucks to pick up your drink, but mask up!
*Make Valentine's card and mail them! Maybe you'll get a letter or a card back (my favorite part)
*Go for a walk and actually smile at the people who pass you. You can do it.

I'm always threatening that I'm going to start up my "grateful journal" that I own and today, I think I'll actually do it.