Life Update: 7/31/2020

I always say that I'm "busy". I truly am though. I seem to bite off more than I can chew in life. But I recently read in a book that said "business is not a personality trait" (how did I even have time to read a book?!). I took that quote to heart because I only use the word "busy" now when I'm trying to explain to someone why I can't do something. I mean, it's not a bad word by any means, just...overused in my life. 

I decided to give a life update on all things Megan because sometimes it's hard to keep track of what I'm doing and creating (trust me, I GET it). I'll do it in bullet points because we all love a good bullet point. 

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1) I had my birthday on July 25th! I started out with going to Denny's (a birthday tradition for me), then I went to a sunflower field 45 minutes away from my house with 2 of my friends. It cost $5 to get in and holy moly was it worth that money. SO beautiful. If you're in Illinois, I highly suggest the Von Bergen's Country Market sunflower maze in Hebron, Illinois! Here's their Facebook page with lots of good updates: X 

2) I had a birthday PARTY on July 26th. All my friends came and it was a really fun (yet EXTREMELY hot) day. My friend Lindsey came from 5 hours away to celebrate it with me and I love her for that! 

(Lindsey and I in our flower dress. The birthday theme was "flowers".)

3) I am now writing some blog posts for a mental health community in Chicago! I submitted my first one and they loved it. No word when it will get published online, but I'll let you guys know when it does! 

4) I now volunteer (work?) at a thrift store. Okay, so this is what happened, for everyone asking: I stumbled upon a local and new thrift store in my town. I went in, bought some cool hand painted jeans, and started talking to the owner for literally 45 minutes. I somehow ended up saying "if you need any help, let me know!" and he said back "I need all the help." SO, I went in yesterday for my first day and helped sort some junk that people usually give to thrift stores (HEY! STOP GIVING US YOUR USED UNDERWEAR! THROW IT OUT!!!!!) and I actually had a really good time. I'm not getting paid for this gig, but it's still fun because I'm real good at knowing quality clothes. 

5) I am now the creator of a community writing club. This one really just snuck up on me, to be honest. The thrift store I work at is trying to raise funds to start clubs up: a music club, an art club, and now a writing club (says me). The owner wants to give back to his community and that's his ultimate goal, which I think is awesome. As for me, the gosh darn PRESIDENT, my goal with this club is to end up self publishing a short story book with little stories written by all people. Cool, huh? To raise these funds, I'm selling REAL good thrifting finds on my Depop and Mercari sites. I'll keep posting as I keep selling, but I sold 2 things in one day, so hopefully I'll raise enough money! 

My Depop: X

My Mercari: X

6) I have also been hanging out with friends and going to work (a good amount, I feel like). I have a 3 day vacation planned the 2nd week of september and I WANT to go to Las Vegas, but we'll see...with all this virus stuff, I'm a little worried! 

SO THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT! It may not seem much, but for me, I feel like I can't sit still. I'll go back to regular blog posting when I have a hot second. Thanks for being the best, guys! 

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Interview with Instagram Content Creators

Instagram has taken over my life. 

Okay, not really, BUT I really do love it. 

I've had so much fun taking cute pictures and making new talented friends on the platform. There are a lot of people who talk in their Instagram captions about comparing themselves to other Instagram users and I really haven't had that happen (at least not yet). I just like connecting with people and commenting with positive things. 

I really wanted to do a blog post about the creative side of Instagram. And when I say creative, I don't mean accounts where you take mirror selfies for every post (although I do love a good mirror shot once in a while. Please see above). I'm talking people who like to tell a story with their pictures. People who like to pose in fun ways or edit their pictures with cool backgrounds. 

Let me give you example. One of my favorite "creatives" is Gab (@Chasingswans_). Here's a picture of what I mean about being fun:

I just love her all her pictures....

ANYWAY, I interviewed some wonderful people who's creativity I admire on Instagram. Maybe it's my art roots that connect me to people like them. I loved all their answers and can't wait to share this interview with you guys!!

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Here's who I interviewed and what their Instagram handles are! When you see their handles in this post, click it to take you to their page!

Amira (@the_sweetlife_of_amirarabah)

Hannah (@Hannahjenae)

Gab (@Chasingswans_)

Ellie (@elliecelli)

1. When and how did you start on Instagram?

(@Hannahjenae)

Amira: "I started Instagram In 2016 to show my baking but as time went on, I wanted to show a different side of me, the real me behind the screen."

Hannah: " I positioned myself as a creator in February 2019 with the launch of my blog. I started off exclusively writing self-care content. I believe self-care is an essential part of a balanced lifestyle that often gets left on the back burner. As time went on though, I wanted to share more general lifestyle content, too. My Instagram reflects this shift because I would use my Instagram to promote my blog. I think my Instagram also reflects when I started to have fun with the content that I created. In the beginning, I was trying an aesthetic that wasn't really me. And I think at the beginning of February of this year, you can tell that I'm started to stray away from that aesthetic and play with content that is more me - it's more fun, colorful, experimental."

Gab: "I started Instagram firstly as a foodie creator. I am a chef so I primarily thought only my creation lies with food; I was so wrong. I started in 2009 and then foodie took over around 2013 and then I started content creating 2019/2020. It took awhile for me to truly dwell into the content creator circle and I’m thrilled I did!"

Ellie: " I started Instagram in 2014-ish but didn’t really use it creatively until 2018! When I graduated college and started my video/photo business I started using it more creatively!"

2. What is your favorite type of content to create?

(@the_sweetlife_of_amirarabah)

Amira: "My favorite type of content is colorful content! Anything that has bright colors, whether it be my makeup, my baking, or my outfits!"

Hannah: "I LOVE edits! And edits are truly what saved my creativity during quarantine! Like if I did not find PicsArt when I did, I don't think it would be this fun and colorful space that it is - I would have really struggled to create. I also love shooting in nature - going for walks in my local nature center have become a self-care practice of mine. The trouble with shooting in nature though is the lighting - you really have to shoot for overcast days. I have also recently started experimenting with stop motion videos...and there are some fun videos I can't wait to debut."

Gab: "I love creating content that speaks to my soul and allows me to express myself wholeheartedly. I like doing props primarily because it adds attention to detail and it helps with my editing style. I would definitely say my style varies often so I like to keep it exciting"

Ellie: "My favorite type of content to create is manipulating my current photos!! Just seeing what I can do to my regular photos with adding different backgrounds, objects, pattern, etc. turning an “everyday” pics into something fun, creative and “fantasy-esque”."

3. Do you have any tips for people who want to start being creative on Instagram but just don't know where to start?

(@elliecelli)

Amira: "My tips would be do what makes you happy. I find when you try to be like everyone else you lose a part of yourself. Also don’t be afraid to take a step back sometimes we need a break to get us back on track!"

Hannah: "First, follow creators you love and whose work you admire! Let their feeds inspire you - don't copy, but allow them to inspire you. Look at the ways they use color, props, location, etc. Also, a lot of creators are pretty open and they are happy to answer any questions you might have. A lot of us creators have made friends with one another by just sliding into each other's DMs and asking a question or two or by giving a compliment that leads to a larger conversation. Secondly, don't be afraid to take the plunge! It is scary, stepping out and trying something new, but it can also be so exhilarating and rewarding to flex your creativity! And I mean 'flex' because creativity is a muscle you exercise and grow stronger with use. Start flexing that creativity with different Lightroom presets, edits in PicsArt, props, etc. - just allow yourself to create. Thirdly, I can't recommend Pinterest enough! Pinterest is a great place to gather ideas and mood board out shoots. I rely on this for concept ideas, posing, makeup, props, etc. Check out my photoshoot ideas board for reference."

Gab: "I would say to take a step back and truly figure out where you belong. Is content creating something you can stay dedicated to? It’s something you have to allow yourself to break boundaries and do things outside your comfort zone that you’re not used to doing. But is it worth it? Yes. Is it hard and tiring and energy draining? Yes. But if done right you’ll see this as more of an escape than a job."

Ellie: "My number 1 tips is to JUST START. Even if you don’t know what to create, YouTube ideas, follow other creatives for inspiration and just start making what comes to mind! It doesn’t have to be perfect, and eventually you will find your “niche” or what you like to do most but you have to start somewhere!! Also don’t get intimidated by others, your art will always be unique to you."

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If you have any questions for any of these amazing content creatives, you can send them a DM ('direct message') on Instagram! 

I want to thank Gab, Amira, Ellie, and Hannah for taking the time and giving such good answers for this post! You guys are the best! 

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Mental Health During Quarantine: Part 3

I have gotten a lot of great feedback on this series. People have also told me to keep it going after quarantine, which is very kind! But you know what? I don't think we're going to last much longer in quarantine so I thought I'd get this one out! (Although, the numbers of Covid-19 are going up in some places...omg!)

If you've been reading this, you know how this goes. But if you HAVEN'T read this series yet, let me reiterate what I'm doing with this post.

Mental health is up and down right now. Last night I had a bad mental health night for the fact that I've been on social media so much recently because that's all I CAN do. A mean comment from a girl I don't know made my night terrible. I know, I know, I'm too sensitive, but I feel like all of us are kind of on edge right now.

We can't do all the things we love. We can't go to places we really like. I feel quite stuck and I think a lot of people feel that way too.

So, I'm making these posts to help people (and ME) see through the hard times a bit. Things I'm doing or want to do, to take my mind off it.

HERE WE GO! ENJOY!

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Listen UP

Podcasts: I haven't listened to a podcast in years. Literally. But I found a podcast recently called Behind the Feed by Josie Sanders. It's about how to live your creative life and tips and tricks for Instagram. It's a really good podcast but I just wanted to put in here: START LISTENING TO PODCASTS AGAIN! I mean, some people listen to them a lot still but I haven't really heard much about them recently. But I took a walk this week and listened to Behind the Feed instead of my usual music and it really put me in a good mood. When you find a good podcast, you don't want to stop listening!

Let's Eat:

I love putting a recipe in these posts. This recipe is something I can no longer have because you know, diabetes is hard. BUT I used to be in love with it. It''s called Overnight Oats. You can find the exact recipe HERE but I'm going to write how I simplify it! I use a cup of oats because I eat it for a few days. If you want it for one meal, use less oats. This is for a sweeter version of oats by the way!

You Need:

A mason jar

Quick Oats

Honey

Vanilla

Greek Yogurt (plain or vanilla)

Milk (Any type of milk OR water)

Steps:

1) Pour about a cup of oats in a clean mason jar

2) Pour in milk that just about covers the oats. If there is too much milk, it will be watery. 

3) Mix in a dash of vanilla, a tablespoon of honey, 1/3 cup of yogurt

4) Stir well

5) Cover with the mason jar lid and place in refrigerator overnight. 

6) If you want it sweeter or want to add peanut butter to it, you can taste it the next morning when it's done. Add what you like!

 Mental Health Awareness

When I was researching for this post, I came across this picture on Google:

I thought this was so great and wanted to share it!

But I wanted to give some links about things you may not even think about during this time. 

1) Make sure you're on top of your medications right now! Mental Health America has a little check list (that you can read HERE) that tell you things like pharmacies will be open still but don't wait right until you need a refill! And some pharmacies are doing delivery options, so check into that!

2) Check in with others. I know, you keep hearing people saying "check in with YOURSELF!" but you also need to be a bit selfless (just a bit!) and I found a really cool link called "just checking in". It's prompts you can say to others to see how they're doing. Click HERE for the link 

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This was a short one, but I hope it gave you some kind of inspiration to keep busy!! 

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Tell Them That it's My Birthday

I wrote a birthday post last year but to be completely honest, I didn't have as many followers last year and some people have no idea what my birthday means to me. 

SO I'M GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER POST! 

Let's start when I was a wee little middle school-er. I loved having birthday parties. I always had a theme and always felt so special during those. Then high school came around and I really only remember having one birthday party (I could have had more, I just...don't remember). Then in college, I suddenly hated getting older.

As an 18 year old, I knew I never wanted to live past 21 years old. I always felt when I was younger that I was going to die young and as I got older, I knew how to make that happen. My mental illness always seemed to get the best of me. After many suicide attempts in my life, my 21 first birthday was spent in the mental health hospital because of me trying to take my life again. 

I remember that hospital stay was awful for me. Because of me. I never went to groups, I always stayed in my room and slept on the hard bed. But when my birthday came around, I went into the common room the day before, busted out some paper and crayons, and drew my 2 favorite bands at the time: 5 Second of Summer and One Direction. 

I went to sleep on my birthday eve with those badly drawn pictures propped up on my night stand so they'd be the first thing I saw when I woke up.

I woke up on that day, July 25th, 2014, and went into the common room for breakfast. I was getting told "happy birthday" from nurses I didn't know and my name was written on the dry erase board telling everyone that today was my special day. 

The minute I walked into the common room at 8 am, all the people there yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" to me. I was given a card by someone I didn't know.

Everyone had decorated and signed a birthday card for me. 

I want to put it out there that I barely talked to anyone during that hospital stay. I didn't even leave my room. I only talked to people during meal times and I guess I made an impact because those wonderful people took time out of their day to make ME a card. 

I still have that card. I only talk to one person still out of about 30 people who signed it. It will forever be my favorite birthday memory, even though it's a little strange. 

After that, I knew how special my birthday's from then on would be. 

Not because I was getting older, but because I was alive.

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I asked what people's favorite birthday memories were on Instagram and my friend Amira responded with "My favorite was my first birthday with my stepdad! I finally felt like I had a dad."

My other friend Ariel said her favorite birthday memory was "Being in Florida on my 20th birthday and going parasailing". 

I feel like you can't plan birthday memories, but there are always ones that stick with you. 

Nowadays, I go ALL out. Let me tell you about July 25th 2020:

-My birthday theme is flowers

-I have a blue flowered dress from the Target Designer collection that is a size smaller than my usual size (since all my weight loss and stuff) and it's SO pretty!

-I always start my actual birth day with going to Denny's for breakfast. It's a tradition. 

-I will be going to a flower field 2.5 hours away from my house with a few friends!

-Since I have diabetes for the first time this year, I'm having my friend make almond flour cookies in the shape of flowers (I'M SO PUMPED FOR THOSE). 

-The day after my actual birthday, I'm having a birthday party bonfire and my friend Lindsey is coming from out of town!! AHHHH!!! <3 

-My birthday party outfit it a white dress with little purple flowers on it, also from the Target Designer collection and ALSO a size smaller :) 

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See? I told you I go crazy. My birthday is special to me and every "happy birthday" I get or every birthday card I receive, I want to cry a bit. 

I'm turning 27 this year on July 25th. 

6 years after my "year of death" to put it so boldly. 

And let me tell you, as of right now, every year of life gets better. 

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Food for Thought

A lot of you read my post a few months ago about how I was diagnosed with diabetes recently. I was having a hard time at first, then I was a bit more in track and losing weight. 

Until I had my doctor's appointment about 2 weeks ago. I had to see my primary doctor as a "diabetes checkup" and for him to tell me my results of my ultrasound I had on my liver. He is normally a very happy-go-lucky doctor and I've been going to him for almost 10 years. 

This appointment was different. He was NOT happy with me. 

"You just have SO much fat around your liver" and "you need to lose 10 percent of your body weight in 3 months" was what I really kept replaying in my head. I went home and sat on my outside chair for 2 hours because I was so upset that HE was upset. My A1C was way down but I was still not in the clear. 

I have a dietitian named Julie. I went in to see her the next day after the (kind of hurtful) appointment. Julie and my doctor work in the same building and they share notes. I walked in to her office and the first thing she said was "I have never seen your doctor so mad before." 

Fast forward to this past week. It was an overwhelming week for me. It was extremely draining via my personal life AND I still had to work on my whole food thing, even though my blood sugar levels are pretty good. I was also overwhelmed with Julie saying everything I was eating was wrong. An orange? Too many carbs to be eaten at a certain meal. Turkey bacon? Not enough protein. 

I JUST COULDN'T WIN! 

So, I stopped. My relationship with food turned a drastic 180. I used to be obsessed with food, now I wanted to puke every night at dinner BECAUSE I was eating. Not because I was full, because I felt guilty. 

In one week, I lost 5.5 pounds. 

Here is what my food diary was:

*Wake up early and drink coffee. If not enough, drink TWO pour over coffees (AKA two very strong cups of coffee).

*Skip breakfast because full of coffee

*Skip lunch because nothing to eat/ full of coffee

*No snacks, unless an apple or an orange

*Have a different dinner every night, mainly with some kind of meat, eat a healthy amount, no going back for extras.

*Eat a coconut ice cream bar, maybe some cheez-its, some dark chocolate that I bought at the store and had to sneak it in my room

*Want to cry because I want to throw up every thing I ate because I feel so guilty and hate myself for eating ANYTHING. 

That isn't healthy, and I know that. But that's what worked, even if for a week. 

I posted on my "Healthy Journey" Instagram about what was happening. I got a friends messaging me and even coming up to me in person saying "hey, you need to tell your dietitian the truth. Talk to her."

I was so afraid Julie would be upset with me. I always took notes when I talked to her and it seemed like everything I've ever learned from her was down the drain because I just...couldn't right now. I know it was only a week (actually, it was a week and a half, but I'm saying a week), but not eating seemed to become a bit normal for me. Of course, I was weak all the time at work and didn't show it, and when it was my break, I would drink a diet Pepsi to get me over this "I need food in my body" hump.

So, I had appointment today via phone call with Julie. She was not upset but WAS upset that I thought she would be upset (LOL). We talked it out and kind of pointed towards my primary doctor going off on me. With me, I feel feelings stronger than most people. That "event" with my doctor turned into a subconscious thing for me. I was trying to do better and lose the weight I had to and when I had to even be around food, it was off limits. Food makes you gain weight. FOOD IS BAD. 

I almost cried during the call. Julie was very understanding and it seemed like she was kind of like walking on eggshells around me, which I actually needed for once in my life. She was very cautious on what to say. She even told me to have a cookie (albeit small) on my birthday! 

We made a constant meal plan. As in, for right now, I will eat the same breakfast and lunch every day (until I get sick of it...). For dinner, as it's always different each day, I WILL have to watch out for what I'm eating. 

But I wanted to write this post because I put on Facebook a "thank you" for everyone who is with me through this journey. I got a surprising amount of private messages and texts saying "hey, I've had a problem with food for years. I know where you're coming from."

It shocked me so much that so many people have a bad relationship with food! For this post, I can't really give advice on this topic, as I'm still struggling myself. But knowing I'm not alone in this makes me feel better. Also, sharing this topic is something that is normally hidden until someone overcomes it. 

I would like to share it while it's happening. 

I'm nothing if not honest :)   

P.S. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, click HERE

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