How Little Women Can Be Fine On Their Own

I have never seen the movie Little Women. Any of them. I have never read the book. I knew nothing about it, but I thought it was an old Jane Austen type of thing and those novels and movies kind of bore me. So I never bothered to get into it. Until my mother said to me the other day “will you go see the new Little Women with me?” I stared at her, not really wanting to go. I really loved some of the actors in the movie, so what was the harm? I gave in and my mom and I planned a day.

When the day came around, my mom chose to go to the 1:30 pm showing at the movie theater. I decided to take a quick nap at 12:15 pm because I was super tired. I got woken up at 1 pm by my mom peering at me: “you ready to go?” No, I wasn’t. I was still tired and I ALMOST said to her that I was going to stay home. But I got up anyway and we were off to see the movie. 

We arrived at the theater, bought our tickets, and took a seat. I had not seen one trailer for this movie and I didn’t let my mom tell me anything except when she said “I want you to see this movie because I think you can relate to Jo. You’re both writers who don’t want kids or marriage!” 

I had no idea who “Jo” was. 

Then the movie began. It was a RIDE. I guess the director of this version made it a bit different than the other ones, so I don’t want to give anything away that would be a spoiler, but I cried. A lot.

I found out who Jo was (she was the main character). I cried when certain things happened but I cried the most at a part where Jo was talking to her mother. Jo shouts:

“Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it! But I’m so lonely.”

I swear I was going sob. My mom handed me a tissue. I didn’t want her to know that I was crying hard, so I pretended the tissue wasn’t on my lap. But tears kept running down my face and I used all my face muscles to not open my mouth and make a noise. I then grabbed that tissue.

Why was I crying so hard?

Because I could RELATE. That quote struck my heart with un-sanded arrow.

Now, I’d like a backtrack real fast. I made a Facebook status about a month ago where I told of the instance of where a girl asked me “if you don’t want to have kids or get married, what do you want to do instead?” I got many comments on the status that said “you’ll get married, don’t worry! You’ll have kids, just wait!”

I am in no way trying to be rude to any of the amazing commenters/friends I had on that status, but I got angry. I teared up. I don’t think they understood that I DON’T want that.

Why am I, as a woman, always being forced to think about the age I’ll have children or what man I’ll marry that will provide for me?

Why can’t I do it alone?

Why am I connecting to Jo March in the Little Women movie when it’s almost 2020? 

And you know what, just one more “why” for you:

WHY CAN’T I DEFY THESE EXPECTATIONS?

I understand completely that some women want what I don’t, but why I am always being pushed towards a life that’s not fit for me? 

Jo told Meg in the movie not to marry John because Jo didn’t want Meg to leave her. But she didn’t push her. She knew Meg wanted to marry John. Meg then said to Jo “don’t worry, your time will come” and Jo wasn’t a fan of those words. She didn’t get angry, she just pushed them aside.

“We have to find you a boyfriend” is something that is said to me CONSTANTLY. It’s tiring. And also very embarrassing. But I now just push it aside. I need a man to make me happy?

The end of the original quote struck me the most. “I’m so lonely.” Jo goes on this short rant how women are more that just love but then she ends up confessing her loneliness. 

You can not want to marry but still be lonely. 

I am.

My mother asked me “how did you like the movie?” when it finished and we got to the parking lot. 

“I....don’t want to talk about it.” I replied. My mom said “okay” with a strange look on her face. Then, I broke down in sobs, in the middle of the public parking lot. 

I got ushered to our car that was nearby and just sat, talking to my mother about how women tell me all the time that I’ll change my mind about kids and marriage. I get told that I need a boyfriend; how I HAVE to sign up for dating apps. Yes, I get lonely when I’m the third wheel at outings and yes, I would love to have just one person I can talk to instead of separate friends who care about separate things. Maybe I miss holding someone's hand.

But for now, I love my life how it is. I don’t need my own intimate family to make me happy. 

Jo got her happy ending without kids and getting married. 

Why can’t I have mine?

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Decade Roundup

It's almost 2020.

The roarin' 20's. 

My last computer broke before I could transfer any photos to my computer now. That was in 2013, I believe. But then I realized: FACEBOOK HAS SOME OF MY PHOTOS! I didn't create a Facebook until 2010, but holy cow do I have a lot of pictures on Facebook. I scrolled for a good 5 minutes trying to find my first photo from 2010. And here it is (I'm the one on the left):

I had those sunglasses because Nick Jonas wore them. I mean, his were Ray Bans and mine were $10 knockoffs, but it still was meaningful!

But then my Facebook jumps to 2011. So 2010 Megan barely exists...but I was on MySpace before Facebook so I bet there are tons of pictures on there of me.







Here's my first picture on Facebook in 2011. It's with a random band member that I loved but really had no hit songs. I got glasses in 2011 so these are my first ever pair. Also, I think that's my natural hair color, but I honestly don't know...

This picture is me and Nick Jonas in 2011, when he went solo for a bit with a different band. I waited with my friend Casey outside a TV station for him to come out. He was very sweet.

I met Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) and Alex Meraz (a wolf in Twilight), both in 2011. This picture shows what a Twilight fan I was (and how I didn't want to pay $25 for a picture, so we snuck one in). Look at that purple feather in my hair!

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Now, 2012 was full of meeting celebrities and meeting new friends, but I only found 1 photo of my actual self via 2012 Facebook. This is a photo of the actor from the Hunger Games, Josh Hutcherson (he played Peeta) and how we both were drinking the same water. Not the same bottle, just the same brand. I was a little ridiculous. Check out my Robert Pattinson poster behind me.

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Now, 2013 was full of pictures and "firsts" for me, but the biggest thing that year was: I BLEACHED MY HAIR FOR THE FIRST TIME! The first time of many years of bleaching. A boy broke my heart that day, I cried, then decided I needed to change something. AKA my hair. We bleached in order to dye it purple on top and aqua blue on the bottom. It started the nickname that people started calling me for years after that: mermaid. 

Then the middle of 2013, I dyed it all blue!

And then at the end of 2013, I got BANGS

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2014 was wild because I was 21 and I started my punk rock phase. I wore combat boots everywhere and put patches on the back of my old jackets. I started experimenting with art (for example, I tried to tint photographs with cranberry juice. P.s. IT WORKS!) I went to university for the first time as an art major.

Here's a photograph I took a while ago that was part of an "I love myself" art show at my college. I was over the moon that it was hung up. It was a little lonely, going to see your artwork by yourself. But I was still honored. 

Then I dyed my hair black. I personally liked it, my mother did not. I remember buying the dye at the Walgreen's that was a 15 minute walk from my apartment. I started dyeing my hair in the bathroom while my roommates were gone and all I could think was "this better not stain the sink". 

My favorite part of 2014 was when I was in a play at university. I did a very good job (says me) and I had the time of my life. My mom even traveled to see me in it!

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2015 was a year I'll never forget, which a a good thing and a bad thing, really. I was still in my punk phase and listened to a lot of Blink 182 and The Offspring. I dyed my hair a lot (as usual) and had lots of support from friends when I was going through a tough time.




Here's my first dye of the year of 2015. I always did a little braid in my hair, sometimes with a string of yarn.

This is me and Halsey in 2015, when she got her start, on her first tour. I loved her at that time, even though she didn't even have a album out! It was a really great show, too. 

2015 was also a year of finding myself. I went to watch sunrises on grassy hills by myself, I pressed flowers, I jumped fences, I made mini movies. It was a year that is hard to forget.

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2016 was the year I had to get away. I went to visit my grandma a lot. I created a lot of digital art of positive and cute sayings and started a shirt shop. It failed massively (I'm still a little heartbroken...)


This is me emailing a pen-pal outside a coffee shop on a cloudy day in March.

One of my design examples that didn't sell a single shirt. I honestly really like it.

The greatest part of 2016 was when I went to California. West Hollywood. Los Angeles. Ever since I was a young girl, I always wanted to see the Hollywood sign. And I did. 

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2017 was a good year for my blog. I wrote a lot and got a good amount of positive feedback. I had lots of new friends from a new job I started and I went to the almighty Disney World. I bought my first ever good photography camera, too! It was secondhand but I still use it to this day!

Me being a real princess at Disney

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2018. I finished my book. My story was out there. I didn't get to tell my grandma about it before she passed away that year. She would've been really proud of me, I think. 

Here's me giving my first talk about my book!

A lovely picture of me living it up in Miami, Florida in 2018 for my friend's bachelorette trip!

My golden birthday (25 on July 25)

It all leads up to 2019. Which is a post I made on December 12th. 

Going through these pictures was really and "up and down" type of thing for me. Some good memories, some bad. But I hate to say it because it's cliche, but everything I went through made me the person I am today! I hope some of you reminiscence on this past decade and see what you guys are thankful for.

See you in 2020! 

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2019 Rewind

The end is near...

THE END OF THE YEAR!!! 

I usually make a "thank you" post for the year and include pictures and surprisingly, people really like it! So here's my year in a glance!

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Started my MeganCourtney24 Instagram! Photo's of my life that makes me feel good about myself!

I started my blog reviews at coffee shops! So much coffee, so much fun

Visited my friend Megan in Green Bay, Wisconsin in February!

Went to the Chicago Market for Maker's, a craft fair with picture taking spots

My friend Emily, from Florida, came to visit me and we went and had a blast in Chicago

My friend Noe and I went to Summerfest in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It's our summer tradition!

Turned the big 2-6 this year! My friend Ashley and I went to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin!

Went to my favorite wedding ever with my favorite people getting married. My dress was a hit, too.

THE BIG ONE: I went to Ireland!

Here's a picture of my mom and I at our first Jonas Brother concert since 2008!

 

And lastly, me and my brother laughing during taking our 2019 Christmas pictures

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This year has been busy and great and I am so thankful for everything and everyone! Here I come 2020!

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Life Update: Nov. 2019

              Hello, my name is Megan, and I have no idea what the phrase “slow down” means.

So that means, I am doing too many things at once and I’m a little stressed but also, I’m really enjoying these things (my bank account is not enjoying it too much though...). I decided to give you a little ‘Life Update’ to share some things I’m doing AND to get your opinion on some things, too! I also have fun news at the bottom of this post that I’m SUPER excited about, so keep your eyes out!

I’ll start with my Halloween activities that I participated in! I went to 2 parties this year, which was exciting because I haven’t been invited to a Halloween party since junior year of high school and I LOVE Halloween. The first party I went to, I dressed as a fallen angel, except I kept my wings in the car because I didn’t want to bump into things all night...Here’s me and the party hostess of the night!

The next party I went to was also a lot of fun! I dressed as Daphne from Scooby Doo and my friend (who’s house it was at) was Velma. She was the perfect Velma and everyone on my social media kept saying how great she looked! Here’s us being cute.

I also got invited to another party ON Halloween but I couldn’t make it because I ended up being sick. 

Which I’d like to explain because some people kind of passed it off like it was a paper cut. Long story short, I’m allergic to pet dander. As it get older, the worse it gets. I was around a dog (that I didn’t touch) for 4 hours without my rescue inhaler. Two days later, I had an emergency doctor’s visit because I physically couldn’t breathe and I was in so much pain because of it. I was diagnosed with “severe persistent asthma”. The day after that, I went to the ER because my wind pipe seemed to be getting smaller and I was hurting more. I was given a breathing treatment which gave me a PTSD attack from my past surgeries but my chest stopped hurting at least. I was put on steroids, I couldn’t leave the house or do much of anything because physical activity made me not breathe so well. I missed 2 days of work and I would like to put in here that my rescue inhaler didn’t work during this time and it was very serious.

That’s all I’ll be sassy about, I promise.

BUT, even though I’m still coughing a bit, my breathing is much better! And after I was getting better, I started a huge project:

RE-DOING MY ROOM!

In 2012, I painted my room dark blue with a British Flag on the accent wall. It was an England/London themed room. But now that I’m 26 years old, I feel different and I’m kind of over the colors...so I’m doing everything over again! If you’ve been in my room, you know that I am NOT a minimalist. I have trinkets and pictures all over the walls, and a One Direction shrine on my fold out cheap card table. In other words, I am messy. Very. Here’s my room before I started:

It’s a pretty small box room and I have it packed. So I started with the mindset of “If I were to move tomorrow, what I bring with me?” 

That saying didn’t really work...but I got rid of a LOT. I mean, why was I keeping an empty One Direction perfume box?! I cleaned off my walls of the posters and frames and got rid of the junky table. Let me tell you, it still has some boxes full of stuff along the walls, but it’s nice and CLEAN. After doing little things to my walls, like filling in my pinholes with toothpaste (a DIY Spackle life hack), I’m going to paint it all white! I’m going for white semi-gloss walls, with pink and gold accents. 

I purchased a 5 shelf bookcase to get rid of my 4 small bookcases. I also just bought my dream table (that is almost out of stock everywhere; I had to drive a bit for this).

I will be receiving my new lamp today, too, which I’m excited about because my old lamp is black with a London lampshade. Here’s my beautiful lamp!

NOW, I need opinions. I don’t know what curtains to get. Here’s the curtain rod I bought:

I’ve never had to deal with curtains before! I want a blush/dusty pink curtain. Should I get black out curtains or those see-through ones? Keep in mind, I have blinds. And my google searches aren’t thrilling me. Is there a place anyone recommends to go for simple curtains? I’M LOST! Please respond in the comment box below! You can be anonymous too, I just need any advice!

Other than my room, I just ordered my annual holiday cards and I’m excited to send them! I keep the back blank because I write a note to each person I send it to. It makes it that much more special, to me.

NOW, my favorite part of this post:

I’M  HAVING A GIVEAWAY! 

I’ve been teasing it on my social media but I decided to unveil the little box of goodies! When I hit my goal of 10K views on my blog, I’ll start the giveaway. I have less than 100 views to go and I’m so excited and it means a lot to me. 

I decided to make a little self-care package because with the season about to turn, sometimes we need a little pick me up. Also, not sponsored (obviously), but these are all from Target! Gotta love Target. 

A insulated water bottle, a mini jade roller, a silk pillowcase, a 'recipes for self love' book, a bath bomb, and a shampoo that gets rid of build up (which was a random purchase and I like it, so I put it in)! 

This giveaway is US only and I WILL be shipping it, so you need to be comfortable with giving your address. 

Until next time!!!

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My Trip to Ireland: Kinvara

The last installment of my Ireland trip! I hope you guys liked following along with my recap! I know travel blogs are really popular, but I’m not a huge traveler, so I tried my best to keep it interesting! Don’t forget to look at the bottom of this post to see my video I put together!

Kinvara, Ireland

I have never heard of Kinvara. You could tell so because at first, I kept calling it “Kilvara”. When we drove up to the town, it was colorful like the rest of the towns (as in, the houses are painted with pink or white or blue or colors of the sort!) but it was so small. It didn’t even seem like a town. We got to our bed and breakfast and it was more like a hotel, which was nice. Outside our window was the front of the B&B and we noticed a pub across the street. Which was attached to a funeral home. A little weird. 

After we got settled in Kinvara, we walked down to a dock by the ocean nearby and watched the waves lapping for a bit. My mom wanted hot coffee somewhere so we went back to the pub/funeral home and while my dad, my grandpa, and I got a pint (THEY HAD ORCHARD THIEVES!! YAY!), my mom got a hot mocha at the bar top. The staff of 2 there was so friendly that we wanted to go back the next night to eat dinner at their restaurant that was in the back of the pub. But we couldn’t that night, because we were going to eat a medieval dinner in a castle.

(Dunguaire Castle)

We set off to Dunguaire Castle, which is a 16^th century tower house near Kinvara. When we entered the castle hall, we got handed a cup of mead by a woman in what I can describe as 16^th century garb. That mead was fruity but very high in alcohol and I wasn’t a huge fan. When everyone was there for the night, we climbed narrow castle stairs to the dining hall. The entertainment staff was so good at their job of acting like we were in the 16^th century and calling me “my lady” the whole night. We were fed great potato and leak soup (which we had to slurp because we weren’t given spoons), chicken with mushroom sauce, and apple pie.

(Me and my soup!)

Then the actual entertainment started, which I wasn’t expecting. The 3 actors took a small stage and sang some songs of old Irish poets and songwriters accompanied by a real life harpist. It was a lot of fun but it was a lot of sitting on hard bench. Still worth it.

After we got up the next day and had an Irish breakfast at the B&B (consisting of bacon, eggs, and a grilled tomato), we set off the the ever famous Cliffs of Moher. Even if you’ve never heard of the cliffs, you’ve seen them SOMEWHERE. It was in Harry Potter 5 and pictures of it are all over. When we got there, it was rainy and FREEZING. I wasn’t too concerned because it looked like a hike and I sweat a lot. But good lord, the cold still got to me. And the wind was so bad that I had to hang on to the wall so I didn’t get knocked over! A rainbow showed up on one side of the cliffs and it was gorgeous. So neat. 

I swore there were pictures of places there without a stone wall around it, so my dad, mom, and I set off to find it. We entered a one way old stone walkway that was a pain in the butt to get through. And it was a long walkway. My mom went back halfway but my dad and I trekked on. We got out of the stones and came upon the place where there was just us and the cliffs. No walls protecting your safety (I found out 66 people have fallen off the cliffs since 1993, I think). But it was such a sight. 

It made me realize how small we are compared to nature. I just stood there quietly for a bit.

The walk down was easier and we got such pretty pictures. I just wish the weather was better. That night was spent at Keogh’s, the pub/funeral home (Shout out to Chris and Haley, our wonderful bartenders!) and I ate Hake fish and chips with seafood chowder which is really popular in Ireland. Hake was new to me but it was fresh and AMAZING. 10 out of 10, would love to eat there again. I had a couple pints to celebrate our last day in Ireland. 

What a vacation.

The next day was terrible with the airport (we have never been through customs before). We got there 2 hours and 45 minutes before our flight. Don’t do that. At least go 3.5 or 4 hours before if you want to be comfortable. We had 15 minutes before our gates closed because there were so many people and SO many checkpoints. My anxiety was the worst.

BUT WE MADE IT HOME! 

And I am so thankful I got to be able to go to something so special. I saved money for a year for it and it was all worthwhile. 

NOW, I took my little old Flip Camera everywhere with me on this trip and recorded little snippets of my time there. The quality isn’t the best, but it’s nice and my mom is the cutest in it!

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