Mental Health Month 2021

 May is Mental Health Awareness Month. During Covid-19 last year, I wrote some posts about helping your mental health and what I was doing to keep as positive as could. I thought I'd write another post on little tips and stats that I've come across recently about mental health. It's always good to learn, especially about something that affects people you know, and maybe even you, yourself. 

I will be basing this post on NAMI's "You're Not Alone" campaign for May 2021. I'm a big advocate of NAMI as I worked with them before and it was a life changing experience. 

I hope you guys get something out of this post! 

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Facts by NAMI that are important:

-50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24

-1 in 20 U.S. adults experiences a serious mental illness each year, but less than two-thirds get treatment

-The overall suicide rate in the U.S. has increased by 35% since 1999

- 20.5% of people experiencing homelessness in the U.S. have a serious mental health condition

What "You're Not Alone" means to me

I always used to say that I was alone. No one in the children's ward had bipolar. I yelled at people I didn't know, just to push them away. I degraded people I DID know because no one understood me. Even though I had my family, I was struggling alone. I didn't know any other way to act or to be; I had tons of friends but I had no one who I could relate to or with. I told my middle school best friend my "secret" of my mental health issues and she said "yikes" then walks away, hand in hand with her boyfriend (that friendship fizzled from there, by the way). 

It was like I was in a white room packed with people smiling at me but all I could concentrate on was my brain screaming about how much I hated the color white. 

When I turned 23, things started to look up. It was like my eyes were finally opened, albeit probably pried. I could see the people around me who loved me for ME. They were there for ME. Don't ask me why, but people cared about ME. When people ask how I've gotten through some tough times, I always reply with "a support system". I also never realized how many people deal with mental health issues until I looked at the world around me. Friends, family, and even celebrities are starting to speak out about mental health. That's so commendable. Of course, there are still people who don't "believe" in bad mental health and for those people, that is the reason I talk. Invalidating people who are hurting is ignorant. I'm so open now because I believed I was always by myself, always lonely. 

That's why "You're Not Alone" is a phrase that I wish I had when I was a kid. Sometimes things get lonely, but I promise you, you're not alone. 

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Tips on Springtime self care

-The weather is getting nicer: GO FOR WALKS! With or without music, fresh air is good for you (says me)

-Start a book (or an audiobook!). Don't set a time to finish the book by. Go at leisurely pace and read a page a day. Or listen to an hour of an audiobook a day. You do what YOU want to do. 

-Try new morning drinks. Try a new coffee at home (I'm about to try vanilla bean coffee with peppermint mocha creamer. Will it be good? We'll see, but it's fun to try!) Seep different teas and mix them or have a tea-tasting party for one! Something new in the morning is a good way to get you up and about. 

-Sit on a bench. Notice things. The wind, the steps of the person walking their dog, the birds chirping. Mindfulness is a GREAT way to let go and relax (sometimes I feel like I'm going to fall asleep but I don't even CARE anymore; I love it)

-Light a candle during a time you usually don't. I used to light my candles only at night. It's 12:40 pm right now and I'm currently lighting my grapefruit mint birch candle. It could be JUST me, but candles makes me so happy and the nice smell makes me more relaxed. Just a little change in routine keeps things interesting! 

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How to seek out help

I know people and friends who have severe mental health struggles. A lot of them refuse to seek help. Why? Their anxiety is too bad, they think they don't need help, and some don't even want to attempt to get better for their own reasons. 

I will never tell people what to do when it comes to mental health, I only know what I've done and what I've been through. People often think I'm a doctor. I am not. I get drained easily (which is why I'm NOT a mental health doctor). It takes a lot out of me because I treat each friend's issue as my own. Someone once blamed me for their suicide attempt, even though I knew nothing about it, and I still get upset by it. 

I can not tell you what to do, like I said, but PLEASE, if you notice something is wrong or someone has told you something similar, don't be afraid to get help from a professional. Your friends are NOT your paid therapists. Yes, I will ALWAYS be open to talk, but when things get difficult, I cannot be the one to help you. Your friends cannot "fix you" or "cure you". Therapy has been my saving grace and you may need to go through a couple of them to find your match, but seeking help is how you help yourself and others.

Here are some links if you're currently stuck on where to start:

Psychology Today 

NAMI help line: 800-950-NAMI

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

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Remember, you are NOT ALONE. Please take care of yourselves!

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6 Years of Reflecting

 

I’d like to start off this post with a simple trigger warning. I will be talking about my mental health and even though this blog is meant for pretty surface level things, this post is anything but.

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6 years ago, in 2015, I remember lying on my bed after kissing my mother on the cheek in the chair she sat in downstairs. I had taken approximately 10 anti-depression/anti-mania/help my bipolar pills. I also took them with some sleeping pills. It was in the middle of the day but I was tired. Tired of being stuck. Tired of the fighting in my brain. Tired of the pain.

 

I have been diagnosed with bipolar since I was 14 years old. Depression since I was 7. I was no stranger to the demons in my head. They’ve been there for years, telling me I wasn’t worthy of being loved. I wasn’t worthy of being alive. I was always trying to sit in the rain or be immersed in the bathtub, fully clothed, during that time. Maybe it was me trying to drown those thoughts, to stop them all together.

 

On that eventful day, after closing my eyes with my goodbye note next to me, I finally was getting what I wanted: peace.

 

If you’ve read my first book, you know what came next. If you haven’t, I’ll explain it quickly: My mother found me before I could drift off to sleep and everything was in slow motion after that: the phone call to 911, my mom screaming that I couldn’t leave her, and then when the paramedics showed up, putting up my hand and making them wait as I gathered up my purse.

 

I won’t get into how my organs were almost damaged and then I went through shock therapy (READ MY BOOK!) but I went through hell. I won’t sugar coat that.

 

Fast forward to 2021. I still can’t believe it’s been 6 years because even with my memory stolen from me, I remember that journey like it was last year. I don’t want to give a spiel of “IT GETS BETTER! GIVE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME! YOU CAN FIND HAPPINESS!” because I don’t think that’s what this post is about. I don’t want to give anyone false hope that you can “grow out of” bipolar (which one doctor told me to do recently...). I still have times where I want to end things like I did in 2015. I’ve even tried once, last year.

 

But those demons are mostly gone. I have negative thoughts sometimes, yes, but I can no longer hear the voice in my head saying “killing yourself will bring you so much happiness. Finally, you can be happy.”

 

I don’t want to get too much into my thoughts now, because even though I’m pretty open, my current feelings are personal to me (I don’t even tell my therapist, honestly...). I do want to take this day to reflect. I don’t like to question “what if” anymore because I can’t change what I’ve been through. I have traumatic flashbacks and IVs and needles give me panic attacks now but there’s no going back. I want to accept myself and my journey. I want improve myself. I want help.

 

What are you suppose to get out of this post? At the very least, I would like it if you guys reflected a bit on your mental health, too. You don’t have to meditate or do anything big, but I want to share this healing with you guys. It matters what you’ve been through and it certainly matters what you’re going to go through. If you haven’t reached for help, but need it, I will link some sources below. I want to share this day with someone, not only because YOU matter, but I finally realized: I matter, too.

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Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741

Suicide Prevention Hotline

NAMI HelpLine

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The Newest Pop Princess is All Scraped Up

 

The Chicago artist, Goof, is no stranger to Megan Hubrex's blog. I interviewed her in August 2020 (here's the link in case you missed it: X) and since then, Goof has grown. 

"With help from friends who are talented producers coupled with years of songwriting and poetry experience, this new artist is hitting the ground running. The voice behind Goof, Natalie Taylor Carioti, spent her college years studying Musical Theatre and is so excited for her own work to be heard - from songs that make you ugly cry to bops made for blasting. Goof hopes that by releasing truthful music, they can help others find songs they connect to and bring comfort and a safe space for all. Goof’s mission is making Pop for the People."

Natalie AKA Goof has 3 released singles at this current time and their newest single, All Scraped Up, is what I'm here to focus on (because I could literally write a full blog post on each song, but I WON'T!)

I had the complete honor to listen to All Scraped Up a day before it got released to the world. As I was sitting on my bed, playing this 80's-influenced song with retro keyboard sounds blasting through my Google Home, I IMMEDIATELY knew this song will be on repeat for ages. 

All Scraped Up brings lyrics of "a little escape from everyday life with growing older, losing love, and trying to find your place in this world". It's a catchy beat and the chorus of

 "I'm all scraped up, in my body, in my heart, and in my soul" 

is something I cannot stop singing. Goof has explained this song as well as ever: "“Pairing the sensitive lyrics with the upbeat happy pop sound is supposed to represent how people suffer in silence and put on a brave face to hide their demons. This song itself is like the mask people wear when struggling with something they’re not proud of. I hope it shows people that they’re not alone in how they feel and that I have the same scary thoughts too."

Goof has always had a voice for singing, ever since I followed her old band, The Isherwoods. The musical theater alumni has chosen the right path: creating music and creating pure art. I attended Goof's YouTube concert in February and right afterwards I told my mom, "Natalie's voice is just so good."

And let me tell you, All Scraped up is a song where you want to dance to it while drinking a Redbull Vodka with a disco ball lights flashing around the room (or uh...is that just me who does that?) Either way, this coming-of-age song really shows that

 Goof is our newest Pop Princess

 and I bow down.

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Here are some important links for Goof:

Instagram: X

All Scraped Up new single on Spotify: X

Goof's Spotify Page: X

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