When I was 18 years old, I decided to attend our local community college along with my friends. I had my parents support but I don't remember much of my academics, just some random times I had there in 2011-2013. I took my general education classes and couldn't seem to pass my last math class. I took it 4 times, with all different teachers. I got accepted into art school (AKA university) even though I didn't yet have my associates. I took some art classes at Illinois State University and kind of hated them. The school taught straight from the book, no room for creativity, type of art. I was way to "strange" with my art and I didn't fit in. I dropped out after a semester.
I still didn't have my associates degree.
While all this was happening for 3.5 years, I was dealing with severe mental health issues. I couldn't control what I was feeling and how I let it out. I hurt people, I hurt myself. I didn't want to keep living, let alone graduate college. College was something that was going on around me, but my mentality held me back from being my best college student self.
After I dropped out of college in 2014, I had a lot of hard times with the jobs I worked and ended getting my brain surgeries in 2015 (please read my book if you don't know what I'm talking about! THIS IS A SHAMELESS PLUG). I didn't even think of going back to school during all of that. But after my recovery and years after, I was so tired of putting on my job applications that I only had a high school degree, even though I went to college for almost 4 years (thank you to the applications that gave the "some college" option!)
In 2019, I applied for my community college once again. I wanted to take that last math class. I got accepted into the school, but....never went. I was too scared I wouldn't pass again, so I didn't try.
I, of course, didn't even think of going to school in 2020 as I was too busy working and Covid happened.
I had a new therapist in 2021 after I knew I needed some help again, mentally. I told her that I want to go to school again and she helped push me in the right direction and I ended up going back to college in the fall of 2021.
I was so scared of what to wear, which backpack to pick out, if my One Direction folder is ironic or cute. I was also scared of my age and that my peers would judge me for it.
I worked so hard with my math class this semester. I have tutoring with the teacher ever Thursday before class, I have done Monday online tutoring with her, too. I am putting in the time and effort and as an adult who has a better grasp of who she is, I am really proud of myself.
I am currently getting a C grade in the class and since the math I'm taking is not preparing for any other class, a D is passing. I'm 1000000% I can at least get a D (although I'm hoping to keep my C...)
Which means, after 10 years full of heartache and hating everything, I am now full of love and life.
AND I'M GRADUATING THIS DECEMEBER!
I am so excited that I'm telling everyone and posting it everywhere. Yes, an associates degree is a little one, but good Lord, I did it. I don't care how small it is, I passed it after 5 math classes. Finally.
I had so many people support me through this and I want to thank each and every one of them. My mom, my friends, everyone who cheered me on.
I'M ONE DEGREE HOTTER!
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