For those who are new here, I write a birthday post every year. Now, for those who are NOT new here, some info in this post may be the same from the past, but everything still rings true.
When I turned 21 years old, I was in the hospital. I made a sign that said "Happy Birthday, Megan" with terrible stick figures of One Direction I drew and put it next to my bed the night before for when I woke up, it would be my birthday. And I felt so alone. That hospital visit was one of the worst of my life. No family, no friends, just me sleeping during groups and no one checking in on me.
I never wanted to turn older. I was put in that hospital for taking too many sleeping pills on purpose. I was not suppose to turn 21. Or 22 or 23. I was set on that. Life was in no way worth living anymore.
This year, I will be turning 28 years old. 7 years passed. That's a lot of years for someone who was pain each day. 2,555 days. Granted, that was not my last attempt on my life (READ MY FIRST BOOK!), but for some reason that birthday has stuck with me. My loneliest birthday.
Since 2017, 4 years ago, I made a deal with myself: I will no longer be lonely on my birthday. I want to celebrate that I'm still here. I want to finally celebrate ME.
That's why my birthdays for the past 4 years have been my absolute favorite day. I have a theme each year, I go all out. I have a birthday outfit, I invite friends who love me.
I'm still having a crisis that I'm almost 30 years old (I'M STILL TRYING TO FIND MYSELF OMG 30?!?), but we won't mention that. This year, at least :)
p.s. even though my birthday is July 25th, if any birthday pictures of you and I pop up, send them my way! I'd love to see them!
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